Why Do We Need To Be Mindful To Heal Our Vaginismus?

We need to be mindful otherwise to heal our vaginismus might take years!

And believe me, my dear reader, we don’t have to live with this condition for years!

By the way, are you new here? I also have the following posts that you may find helpful:

6 Habits to Implement into Our Daily Lives Help Us Feel Much More Balanced
How to Avoid Manipulating Ourselves and Procrastinating Over Healing Our Vaginismus
Genuine Acceptance Is Very Important Especially When Living With Vaginismus

and of course, you should join our EXCLUSIVE Facebook Community “Yes We Can Cure Vaginismus Together” by clicking here!

Lastly, you can download here your FREE Vaginismus Cure Guide based on my personal experience and research!

So let’s begin 🙂

When we look at what holds us from moving forward or being consistent with our healing journey, then we will be able to see our mental habits and conditionings which believe that:

we can’t overcome it,
we can’t have pain-free sex,
we can’t have a family.

These create more unpleasant emotions which make vaginismus harder to cope with.

I speak with experience because I had been living with vaginismus for almost 10 years before I took any robust action towards curing it.

Only when I took a step forward, did I overcome my vaginismus.

It not as simple as just taking action to cure it, in order to properly overcome vaginismus we need to focus on consistency, motivation and encouragement during the healing journey.

Let’s think about ourselves here:

Are we consistent, motivated, and encouraged? If not, how are we going to improve those qualities?

We can develop those qualities no matter our age because we are enhancing:

being mindful
loving ourselves and others
compassion

as the opposite of:

shame
guilt
embarrassment

If we don’t enhance these qualities we can feel inconsistent, unmotivated, and discouraged in our healing journey.

Here is the thing: We need to be aware of what we choose to strengthen.

There is a beautiful quote from John C. Maxwell: “Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.”

So true!

Then how will we strengthen what we chose to be?

Fair question!

We’ll do it as reinforcing those habits that we want to improve.

So, if we want to be more loving, more compassionate, then it’s beneficial to start to enhance those FROM TODAY.

That’s what we do in loving&kindness practice, for instance.

We intentionally focus on sending well wishes without expectations, not only for others but also for ourselves too.

That practice has complementary effects of enhancing our belonging, worthiness, and connection.

In it, we learn to have the compassion to be kind to ourselves and others.

Then, how are we supposed to be treating ourselves kindly if we are not aware of how we are treating ourselves?

A fantastic question! 😊

We need to practice MINDFULNESS to be aware of how we are treating ourselves.

As we become more aware of

how we talk to ourselves,
what triggers us,
how we tend to REACT to what happens,

then we start to disidentify ourselves with the event whenever it happens.

It will get easier to see things clearly, however, it is natural to feel overwhelmed by unpleasant emotions at first.

The reason why we feel overwhelmed by them is that because of the meaning we have given them.

So in our case, the fact is that we have vaginismus. Then:

What is our next step?
What do we choose to focus on?
What is our pattern/habit of response to this condition?

Is it possible to see it as a condition, or are we associating this condition with:

shame?
guilt?
embarrassment?

As we practice mindfulness, we enlarge our capacity for knowing how we see the condition through the lens of our minds.

We acknowledge whether we give any meaning to it or not.

That experience itself is naturally helping us creating space between the fact-in this case vaginismus- and us, so that it enables us to focus on the next move, which comes with this question:

How can I cure it?

So, I won’t lose years to TAKE ACTION on curing it!

Let’s give an example to nail this!

This is an example of something a little different from our condition, but it shares the same outcome.

Let’s say that you want to start your business.

And you know that you have considerable potential, but you somehow feel stuck on your journey.

You work on it on your own but you can’t seem to get any further.

So in this situation, what would you do?

Would you beat yourself up with the thoughts of:

how you are a failure,
how you are not smart enough, or good enough, or successful enough,

Or would you look at what you need at the moment to take the business forward?

It seems obvious that we need to choose the second option to make it possible, right?

Often, when it comes to us being the ones who are struggling with any difficulty, we take things very personally and end up losing years of our lives without taking any action and giving up.

It’s the same outcome for us when we are living with VAGINISMUS!

So first and foremost, we need to be mindful of how we see things.

Then it leads us to this question!

What is the relation between being mindful and healing our vaginismus?

When we are living with vaginismus,

it’s not that easy to be consistent in our physical exercises, which are essential for our healing journey as well as our mindfulness exercises.
Feeling motivated on our healing journey or even believing in ourselves that we can overcome it is one of the biggest struggles that we deal with.
And we might end up with avoidance vaginismus, which can take years to overcome

And experiencing these dead-end healing attempts and feeling enslaved by our conditionings, again and again, makes our healing journey harder for us.

When we look closer, we realize that it’s not only the condition that is difficult to overcome but also the mental habits which control us because we can not see them as they are.

What are the essential notes to heal our vaginismus?

#1 Being Mindful

#2 Getting support when we need it

#3 Knowing that WE ARE THE DECISION MAKERS, so we have the POWER OF CHOOSING

So what are you choosing now?

Is it to be consistent, motivated, and encouraged in your healing journey and overcome your vaginismus?

If so, what is your next step to start to strengthen those qualities then?

“Every time a negative state manifests itself and is recognized, it loses some of its strength.”

Thich Nhat Hanh

You can download my free vaginismus cure guide from here if you haven’t yet.

If you found this article helpful, then come and join our free online community Yes We Can Cure Vaginismus Together, if you haven’t yet.

I talk more about these topics and in more detail.

Let’s meet there. Let’s grow together.

E-mail: petek@yeswecancure.com