Why Challenging Ourselves Matters Especially While Overcoming Our Vaginismus

We can change the way we think about problems and see them as an opportunity to grow, my dear friend.

Living with vaginismus itself is a challenge; I completely understand that as a woman that had lived with vaginismus and chose to ignore it for more than ten years, until she got cured of it.

I also know that there are many opportunities to discover ourselves and improve our attitudes towards life and living with this condition.

Let me show you how.

In this blog, we are going to unpack how challenging ourselves matters and how it can help us grow and be beneficial for our overcoming vaginismus journey.

When we face any difficulty, choosing to explore our reactions genuinely changes the whole story, dear.

But before we get there, are you new here? Then you’ll have to check out these other helpful blogs that I’ve written to help you overcome your condition.

How to Free Ourselves From Unhealthy Habits While Overcoming Our Vaginismus
How to Dilate On Our Own While We Can Not Even Look Down There
How to Transform Our Self-Sabotaging Behavior To Help Heal Our Vaginismus

and of course, you should join our EXCLUSIVE Facebook Community “Yes We Can Cure Vaginismus Together” by clicking here!

Oh and, you can download here your FREE Vaginismus Cure Guide based on my personal experience and research!

So, let’s begin!

Let me share a glimpse of my experience while working with men on a topic about which I didn’t have much knowledge.

I was on a farm years ago; I wanted to learn to farm and raise my kids on a farm-that was my dream, and I wanted to see if I could genuinely enjoy it. So I took a 10-week farming opportunity as a HUGE CHALLENGE in my life.

I didn’t have much physical experience on a farm; what I knew was not more than a theory.

When I first got there, it was a total catastrophe!

My background, my study, my family, my successes-whatever they were-, were not worth much there at all.

It was just me, Petek.

I didn’t even know how I could introduce myself as Petek without those usual labels.

I remember how I felt naked, scared, and even empty! I was entirely out of my comfort zone.

I didn’t realize how those labels were so important to me, until that day on the farm when I was forced to realize what I knew about myself!

Soon after our introductions, we started farming on hardcore mode! 😊

We were 16 men and 4 women on the team.

I had a constant battle in my mind against only the men.

I was competing with them, trying to prove that I could do the same as whatever they could do!

This continuing battle was very overwhelming but very educational at the same time.

I didn’t realize that I had such a lack of confidence in being a woman!

On top of this, I had to speak English, and of course, and I kept making mistakes, regularly 😊

Only then was I able to realize that I had such a judgemental inner voice after hearing how harsh I was being on myself after every mistake, and towards each emotion.

EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of living and working on that farm was like a war for me: just like in a movie, getting always shot by my triggers; it was very exhausting, yet very enriching, empowering!

I didn’t know that being a woman meant “not enough”, weakness, and dependency for me, but then I knew.

And as I discovered my reactions, emotions, and tendencies, I started to know myself more!

All these challenging moments turned into teaching moments for me.

Seeing my honest thoughts and feelings without any shields was not easy at all!

But I was growing, like becoming a butterfly from a cocoon, so it was not comfortable; it was almost painful!

Which is why I want to dive into how we can grow from these challenging moments in our blog today, my dear friend, I hope that you will enjoy looking at how this applies to your own life.

#1 Recognizing how we react to difficulty

Especially while living with vaginismus, we experience many difficult emotions, don’t we?

When we

attempt any penetration and can’t have it,
have any discussion about intimacy with our loved ones,
are afraid of starting a relationship,
witness our friends having babies, and starting families.

Whether we like it or not, we react by, either ignoring our reactions to them or beating ourselves up, and giving ourselves a hard time with critical self-talk that can sometimes spill over into being hard on others as well!

The truth is, if we do not recognize how we react to these difficult moments, then we will stay in our cocoon and repeat these reactions, again and again, causing more pain, which is inevitable!

Instead, if we can choose to be more mindful of them, then growth is inevitable!

#2 Allowing ourselves to expand our limits and grow

Being more mindful of how we experience things without getting lost in a “why” battle allows us to expand our limiting beliefs about ourselves!

When we face a similar difficulty, our reaction tends to be not as strong as before, and naturally, we become better versions of ourselves without trying as hard as we did when we were not as mindful of ourselves.

Start to pay attention to

what we think,
or how we feel,
and how we experience reactions in our body

then practice staying with them rather than running away from them, my lovely friend.

That’s why practicing mindfulness is essential to learn to stay within our discomfort patiently, and to be curious about it.

#3 Giving enough credit for how we dealt with our problems

As we become more aware of how to stay with these challenging moments, and notice how it has become a bit easier than before, we get to see this as growth!

Even if we tend to focus on what we can’t do enough of, sitting with this feeling gives us the opportunity to be more intentional about our reaction to the realization of our limits, allowing us to give ourselves enough credit for trying to deal with the problem at all. This kind of recognition matters my friend!

Realizing your effort matters for your inevitable growth!

When we see every difficulty as a challenge and opportunity for growth, then nothing can stand in our way, dear!

Neither vaginismus nor any other conditions!

It’s a matter of perception, bringing attention to overcoming the problem rather than being defeated by it!

And we have, my lovely friend, such an amazing potential for being courageous; it’s the matter of recognizing it and using it!

So now, let me ask you; what are you going to choose; to stay in your comfort zone, not challenge yourself and be wherever you were last year, or are you going to see your condition as a challenge and an opportunity where you can grow from and take action to overcome it?

Tell me, which one do you want to choose?

“Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional” Roger Crawford

You can download my free vaginismus cure guide from here if you haven’t yet.

If you found this article helpful, then come and join our free online community Yes We Can Cure Vaginismus Together, if you haven’t yet.

I talk more about these topics and in more detail.

Let’s meet there. Let’s grow together.

E-mail: petek@yeswecancure.com