How to Thrive During My Vaginismus Healing Journey

When we get caught in our little bubble, it’s hard to see ourselves as part of a whole; we tend to see only our difficulties, struggles, and sometimes even an imagined hopeless future that we create especially while living with vaginismus!

This makes it hard to feel motivated and keep focusing on healing vaginismus, dear! So it is only inevitable for some women to live with this condition for over 10 -20 years.

But the thing is, we only have this one life and we need to start saying to ourselves;

I have inner power, no matter what the little voice inside my head tells me
I believe in my ability to work as hard as I can, no matter how hard this journey can be!
I truly feel as though my life is worth living, and that it is meaningful.
If I want to overcome any difficulty, especially while living with vaginismus, it is up to me to work on my healing!

We have got to notice how much our actions towards healing are also actions towards growing so that we can flourish and bloom in it as healthier versions of ourselves. But how do we see, believe, feel, and know this way?

The answer is, we get to put a deliberate effort into it.

We do this by setting an intention towards the feelings, habits, and the way we want to have, and cultivating our beliefs, feelings, and understanding.

Of course, we will face difficulties and hindrances along this journey; but it will get easier to navigate this path as long as we continue to walk on it with the support of the community and resources around us while following the 3 simple steps listed below.

Let’s dive into the 3 steps to move from surviving to thriving during our vaginismus healing journey!

But before we get there, are you new here? Then you’ll have to check out these other helpful blogs that I’ve written to help you overcome your condition.

and of course, you should join our EXCLUSIVE Facebook Community “Yes We Can Heal Vaginismus Together” by clicking here!

Oh and, you can download here your FREE Vaginismus Overcoming Guide based on my personal experience and research!

Here are 3 steps to help you shift from surviving vaginismus to thriving in your healing journey:

Step #1 Make a list of what you are repeatedly experiencing while living with vaginismus

Ask yourself what you are repeatedly experiencing while living with vaginismus?

Are you :

hating your body image?
hating being a woman?
not feeling comfortable in your skin?
not feeling confident?
comparing yourself with others and having a fear of being behind?
criticizing yourself harshly?
denying vaginismus?

What are they for you, dear? For me, they were all of the above and I was constantly repeating them when I had vaginismus.

Here is the thing: as we all know, the more we repeat something, the stronger it is.

For me, the more time passed while living with vaginismus, I had more self-doubt, less confidence, less belief in myself, and a lot more self-hatred!

That is what happened when I lived with vaginismus: the more I ignored it, the more I missed the opportunity to learn from it, which were lessons that I had been experiencing for years.

When I started to be more aware of these difficult feelings and experiences, I found the ability to transform them, which enabled me to make consistent steps to overcoming vaginismus.

Step #2 Make a list of how you want to feel, what attitudes you want to have five years from now while healing vaginismus

The wording in this step is vital, dear. We aren’t asking you to do something open-ended like:

Listing how you wish to feel, or what attitudes you wish to have.

You should take this step as a chance to list something that you actually want, not only what you wish or hope for!

When we start to think about this question, especially while struggling with vaginismus, we put our hopeless, disappointed, pitying hat down and put a decision-maker hat on our heads.

So even thinking doing this step becomes empowering, dear.

Only YOU know what you want in your deeper core. So even if you may not have a list of the answers now, think about this step sleep on it even! You’ll see, the answers will come soon.

It helps to think about the feelings and attitudes you want to cultivate as you acknowledge the path towards healing your vaginismus?

Think about the attitudes of people you admire right now; whether you know them in person or not.

Are these attitudes:

feeling at peace with the way you look, feel, and think?
accepting yourself as you are without being hard on yourself and still knowing that there is room for improvement?

Recognizing these attitudes in others make it easier to translate more proactive attitudes in ourselves, which sound like this:

not taking the consequences of vaginismus personally and seeing it as a condition without self-pity
hearing your self-talk openly even if it is invasive, discouraging, and being compassionate towards it and willing to transform it.
seeing any unhealthy habits such as comparison, jealousy, hatred as they are and not allowing them to impact your emotions and decisions.
shining from inside to outside, spreading a vibe with love around you?
believing in yourself, in your inner power, and knowing your struggle is impermanent and only there as a lesson for your life.

So, what do you think, dear? What attitudes do you want to live within this life?

Step #3 Transform your unhealthy repetitive behaviors into attitudes that serve you more during your vaginismus journey

How?

Well, one of the answers is by practicing mindfulness to learn to be more open to your experiences without being hard on yourself while healing vaginismus

We become more intimate, and aware and allow our inner thoughts and emotions to emerge as we practice mindfulness.

We can’t learn mindfulness through just books, posts, or podcasts. It’s a very personal journey.

We each get to practice and learn about it experientially because, in this journey, we learn how OUR MINDS are constructed, how they work, and function.

When we consistently practice mindfulness;

We see our emotions like hatred for instance as a short-term feeling that we only have at the moment.

Once we explore how this feeling impacts our thoughts and bodily sensations at that moment;

So we are able to allow this emotion to be present entirely rather than try to change or ignore it!

And this exploration helps us understand how our minds work and our understanding begins to transform us naturally, dear.

✨ Practice loving-kindness will increase your capacity for connection to others and self-acceptance to help your vaginismus healing

This practice is such a simple but powerful practice, dear. It enables us to forgive, connect with others without expecting anything in return, and develop self-acceptance.

Often we don’t treat ourselves well. So this practice helps us believe that we also deserve loving and kindness as much as others.

I have created some practice guides for you HERE dear, go ahead, begin your love and kindness journey right now.

✨Practice generosity to connect with others through giving without expecting anything in return

Being generous with your time, your service, or your money will enhance the connection you have with others through this form of giving. As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog post, we tend to see only our difficulties and struggles, which makes us feel lonely in this journey.

But giving helps us connect with our shared humanity so that we can see others as well.

✨Move your body to feel centered and to uplift your energy, especially during your vaginismus journey

We can’t separate our body from what we have been through throughout the day, dear, yet paradoxically, we gradually lose connection with our body and so much focus on our feelings and minds.

Our body responds to everything that we think and feel, dear. So it’s one of the fundamental parts of this process.

Move it! Really get up and shake your body and awaken your soul! You’ll see immediately; your thoughts will no longer dominate you when moving your body.

It can be through dance, working out, yoga, pilates, jogging, or just walking, whatever your preference! But do it, and do it consistently!

Then you’ll see slowly but surely that you can concentrate on your vaginismus healing process without any interruptions,quitting or denial !

This is because:

You will see your power, dear, no matter what the little voice in your mind tells you,
You will believe that no matter how hard it is, you work hard as well!
You will feel that your life is meaningful; worth living!

You will grow while overcoming your vaginismus; you’ll create a healthier version of yourself, and you’ll thrive as you heal vaginismus! I am certain of it, because you have already made the biggest step by reading all the way up to here.

So,

Are you IN, dear?

Are you ready to thrive during your healing journey?!

“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.“ Rikki Rogers

If you found this article helpful, then come and join our free online community Yes We Can Heal Vaginismus Together if you haven’t yet.

I talk more about these topics and in more detail.

Let’s meet there. Let’s grow together.

E-mail: petek@yeswecanhealtogether.com

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