How to Free Ourselves From Feeling Stuck While Living With Vaginismus

Have you ever felt stuck? It can be such a familiar feeling if you have ever experienced vaginismus.

With the insanity going on across the world and in our environment, it is only natural that your state of mind feels overwhelmed.

Here, in this post, we’ll uncover how to free ourselves from feeling completely stuck, overwhelmed, and hopeless in the face of your difficulties.

But first I want to share with you a beautiful Cherokee Prayer:

Whenever we feel overwhelmed by what’s going on in both our inner and outer worlds, it’s good to pause for a while, to have a break, to breathe before reacting!

Sometimes the best response is to connect inward. To do this properly, we need a moment of quiet.

Before diving into some tips that I want to share with you on how to overcome our “stuckness”, I want to define what “stuck” means first!

When our hidden emotions are accumulated, the bodily sensations of those emotions accumulate in areas of our bodies.

That is why when we struggle to speak up about something we want to talk on, there is a feeling of “stuckness” in our throat. Sometimes we can feel stuck in different areas of our body like our stomach or our neck. Can you relate to this experience?

Our minds and our bodies are like an interconnected sponge that absorbs every single experience that impacts us.

If at first, we don’t notice the initial impacts of difficult emotions, they will get more substantial and continue to manifest in our bodies without us knowing.

These challenging emotions might be feelings such as:

voicelessness,
unworthiness
powerlessness

And do you know what happens when we allow those stuck emotions to build and feel heavier within us?

We get sick!

Not only does our vaginismus condition or healing progress get worse; we get severe diseases.

You can watch this beautiful video from Dr. Gabor Mate, who explains to us clearly how such sickness happens, by simply clicking here, if you want to dive into learning more about why we need to free ourselves from our stuck emotions..

Let’s get to the point. How do we unstuck our stuckness?

I have six ways that I want to share with you.

1. Meditation for creating a quiet space for you to hear yourself more clearly

There is a lot of noise outside. If we continue to be focused on trying to listen to all of them, we are in danger of disconnecting from ourselves.

And you know what happens afterward?

We feel overwhelmed!

We feel stuck!

To respond to any difficulty we encounter either during our vaginismus healing journey or at any other time, we need to take care of our nervous system first.

We need to do this from a firm and grounded space.

As they announce in the flights: “please place your mask on first and then assist your child or other passengers.”

Do you remember that?

We need to take care of ourselves first before trying to meet others’ needs.

What I mean from that is that we need to:

hear ourselves first to listen to the others properly.
practice being open-minded for ourselves first, to be open-minded for the others fully
be more compassionate towards ourselves first, to be wholeheartedly compassionate for others.

2. Being mindful of our language

Being mindful and writing down how we feel at the moment is one of the essential steps to seeing what’s happening in our inner world more clearly.

Contemplate thoughts arise when we write about what makes us feel stuck.

It can be anything from

I’ll never overcome vaginismus!
I can’t change anything!
I’ve failed in life!
I can’t succeed in my relationship!

Write them down.

Make sure to write without thinking or trying to make perfect sentences.
Use whatever words come to your mind first.
Then see it; actually look at it: What kind of language do you use for yourself, and what limiting beliefs are holding you back and making you feel stuck?

3. Reality check

We tend to believe in our thoughts as though they are facts.

When we look closer, our thoughts seem less like FACTS, and more like the outcomes of our manipulative minds.

They might be coming from our past experiences or others’ experiences, which even don’t belong to us. They could be the stories that we created and believed to survive up to this point.

In any case, by just asking ourselves if our thoughts are completely true gives us the space to reflect on the reality of our feelings more honestly and gently.

4. Asking ourselves what would happen if we didn’t have any limiting beliefs

Just imagining what our fullest self would look like if we weren’t held back by limiting beliefs can help release ourselves from feeling stuck.

Picture the power you could have to:

change things,
help ourselves and others,
love ourselves as we are and others,
overcome our vaginismus and even help other women to do the same.

Connecting with our full potential helps us to maintain confidence and the belief that we can keep moving forward!

5. Actions that make us feel moving forward

Being intentionally mindful of every step that helps us move forward rewires our neural pathways for the idea of “I CAN do it!”

So, for instance, you can say “Ok, I’ll take action towards curing my condition! I’ll find another gynecologist that is caring and more compassionate to get a proper diagnosis.”

In just this simple decision-making process, you have made a HUGE step towards progress.

If you are not happy with your ob/GYN and choose to care for yourself by finding another one, instead of taking this challenge personally, then you are making HUGE strides in your healing journey.

Accordingly, being mindful of each step and creating enough time to gracefully rebuild our reality helps us reach our true potential.

6. Finally, finding a safe, non-judgmental space to share how we feel stuck at the moment

Sharing in and of itself has an incredible role in any healing progress.

Being

heard,
seen,
and, understood

gives us a sense of feeling that we are OK, and that we are NORMAL!

We tend to say lots of “shoulds” or “have tos” to ourselves, which can potentially create a disconnection with ourselves which leads to feeling as though you are “NOT ENOUGH”.

Joining a community of women exclusively with vaginismus can show you how WORTHY you really are, and that you are not alone, so join us, dear! Click here to join our beautiful community of supportive women with vaginismus.

Finally, let’s remind ourselves also that It’s OK to feel stuck. What matters is to recognize it and act accordingly, without feeling shame or guilt as best we can.

As we encounter our stuckness we’ll see that they give us an opportunity to grow.

And you, my dear, are much stronger than you think!

As we practice these steps as best we can; we become more spacious, more open; braver.

We become OUR HEROINE!

“We hear a lot about the pain of *samsara, and we also hear about liberation. But we don’t hear much about how painful it is to go from being completely stuck to becoming unstuck. The process of becoming unstuck requires tremendous bravery because basically we are completely changing our way of perceiving reality, like changing our DNA. We are undoing a pattern that is not just our pattern. It’s a human pattern.” Pema Chödron

*samsara: suffering

You can download my free vaginismus cure guide from here if you haven’t yet.

If you found this article helpful, then come and join our free online community Yes We Can Cure Vaginismus Together, if you haven’t yet.

I talk more about these topics and in more detail.

Let’s meet there. Let’s grow together.

E-mail: petek@yeswecancure.com