How to Feel Inspired When We Lose Motivation, Especially While Healing Vaginismus

Do you also lose your motivation not only while healing vaginismus but also in different aspects of your life?

Are you good at starting but not that good at finishing?

Do you also question why you do, and then stop doing it?

If your answer is “Hmm maybe” or “Heck Yesss!!”, then this blog post is for you, dear 😊

In this blog post, we’ll uncover how to backtrack when we lose motivation, especially while overcoming vaginismus.

But before we get there, are you new here? Then you’ll have to check out these other helpful blogs that I’ve written to help you overcome your condition.

and of course, you should join our EXCLUSIVE Facebook Community “Yes We Can Heal Vaginismus Together” by clicking here!

Oh and, you can download here your FREE Vaginismus Overcoming Guide based on my personal experience and research!

Let’s be honest, dear.

Everything in life is constantly changing: Our mood, our emotions, thoughts, bodily sensations, our environment, triggers, everything is changing, especially while healing!

Healing is not a linear path; it has lots of ups and downs.

So indeed, we can lose motivation along this path, but as we all know, we get to move forward in order to heal!

But how will we feel inspired to move forward when we’ve lost our motivation? That’s the question we’ll answer here.

I invite you to think of a moment that you started to do something but quit in the middle.

What was it like?

To engage with that moment, I invite you to do this short practice:

You may even close your eyes (after reading this paragraph, of course, 😊)

Start with a few breaths; take a deep inhalation from the nose and long exhalation through the mouth.

Then, bring your attention to this memory.

Observe what thoughts and emotions that arise when you bring this moment to your mind.

Notice what happens just before you quit, as best you can.

What is that emotion?

Now, come back to your breath: take a deep inhalation and long exhalation.

Then, open your eyes if they are closed.

Did you notice anything about the emotion just before quitting what you committed to doing?

Could it be a disconnection from or losing trust in yourself or the process? Do you;

Feel disconnected from what you do,
Say to yourself that everything you do is for nothing,
Think that you can’t do it; that you won’t come to the endpoint.

Do you find yourself believing in what you say and think to yourself until you quit?

That is what happens to me when I lose my motivation towards what I promised myself to do, dear.

Losing trust in ourselves or the process has a considerable impact on moving forward, my dear friend. That’s why we lose motivation as well.

And feeling disconnected is a huge part of it, in my opinion.

So, let’s dive into what to do when we lose motivation.

#1 Remember your WHY you do what you do

Knowing and remembering your WHY is the key here, dear.

Here is the reason for it: when we don’t know why we do what we do, feeling disconnected from what we are doing is inevitable!

And at that point, things will most likely start to seem like a TASK that you HAVE to do.

You can even notice it in your wording: saying “have to”s will take more space than “I commit to” or “I get to”!

It will then be easier for you to convince yourself not to carry on or pause, postpone or quit.

You’ll even believe that what you do will not take you anywhere or will not work for you.

But whenever you reconnect with your WHY, you’ll see things from a bigger perspective which will help you remember that what you do is for the sake of the path!

The path you chose!

The path that will help you overcome vaginismus!

But how do you figure out your WHY?

That’s a beautiful question, dear! ‘There are many resources out there to answer this question, but I want to focus on a specific one, which I personally practice as well.

Here is the 7 Levels Deep To Success video– by Dean Graziosi that inspired me to understand my “why”, so I want to share it with you.

He talks about tackling your goal and questioning it by asking “Why is it important to me to do it?” He encourages us to ask this question several times.

Let’s assume that you say, “I need to dilate.”

Then, according to this method, you ask yourself:

“Why is it important to me to dilate?”

You may say: “It’s important because I want to overcome vaginismus.”

Then the question is: “Why is it important to me to overcome vaginismus?”

The answer might be: “It’s important because I want to feel whole.”

The question is: “Why is it important to me to feel whole?”

I guess you get the point, right?

You don’t have to dive into the 7th level at once, but you’ll sleep on it, and believe me, the answer will come to you as you ask it.

Maybe you’ll see that you don’t want to overcome vaginismus at all because it protects you from something.
Or maybe you’ll see that you want to overcome it because you want to be accepted by someone you love.

Whatever you find as you dig in more will be something that you’ll connect with from your heart, not only your mind!

According to this example, dilating will no longer be your task; it’ll be a tool to get you to the goal that you have genuinely connected with from your heart.

#2 Be friendlier with your experiences even if they are unpleasant

We don’t lose motivation in a second, dear. It happens gradually.

The key here is that we get to be aware of the whole process as it develops and how we react to it.

When we feel low, our minds much tend to wander into our concerns, our past experiences, future worries, etc.

And at that point, we get to be aware of what our experience is and allow it to be as it is so that it doesn’t take control over us.

So, if it’s a worry, we allow it to stay with us for a while as we explore how we react to it in our body and then let it go before it gets too loud that we can’t hear our own voice.

I can’t resist this metaphor when I think of it:

As some of the wise gurus say, every single feeling is like a visitor.

I imagine every feeling as a visitor, knocking on our door; gently at the beginning. If we don’t want to see that visitor and pretend that we are not home and wish it would go away, the visitor starts to knock on the door louder and louder! Until we open the door, welcome it friendly, and maybe invite it in for a cup of tea or coffee or maybe even a glass of champagne.😊

When we can open the door before it gets too loud, it comes, stays, and then goes away. That’s it! It’s not that easy to do but it is that simple!

They only want to be seen, heard, and recognized, dear, like all of us, right?

That’s why we practice mindfulness, to know how to recognize our feelings, welcome them in friendly then let them go!

So as we practice it, we recognize the intention of losing motivation before it gets so loud and leads us astray.

#3 How to remember to connect to your WHY while living with vaginismus

As we practice mindfulness, we practice remembering to come back to the experience of now. That’s the intention we repeat over and over again.

So whenever we notice that we are gradually losing our motivation towards dilating, for instance, we get to become aware of those convincing self-talks that don’t want to try dilating today.

Since we know from experience that this feeling will pass away like all feelings, including the pleasant ones.

Then we can recognize these self-talks before they get louder and domineering so that we can hear our inner voice coming from our hearts.

This way, we can connect with it, naturally.

Just because we know our real “why” yet, we still get to dilate, we can move forward, dear, no matter what.

The voice of our hearts is always stronger than the voice of our minds!

And this strength is already in us; it’s a matter of awakening it!

“Everything you need is within you, the strength, courage, and confidence to change your life. You just need tool within yourself and find it.” Amanda Ray

If you found this article helpful, then come and join our free online community Yes We Can Heal Vaginismus Together, if you haven’t yet.

I talk more about these topics and in more detail.

Let’s meet there. Let’s grow together.

E-mail: petek@yeswecancure.com