How to be Committed Enough to Overcoming Vaginismus?

How would you score your commitment to healing vaginismus from 0 to 10, dear?

And what do you think about your score?

Is it enough for you to take consistent action to heal vaginismus, or do you think you need a bit of improvement on your commitment?

If you think you need a bit of support to improve your commitment, dear, this blog post is for you.

We’ll tackle how to improve our commitment to your vaginismus healing journey to make progress consistently.

But before we get there, are you new here? Then you’ll have to check out these other helpful blogs that I’ve written to help you overcome your condition.

and of course, you should join our EXCLUSIVE Facebook Community “Yes We Can Heal Vaginismus Together” by clicking here!

Oh and, you can download here your FREE Vaginismus Overcoming Guide based on my personal experience and research!

Being committed and doing things with consistency is not that easy, dear, especially when it comes to facing any difficulties along the way. For those of us with vaginismus, this emotional burden can be quite heavy to bear.

And of course, we don’t tend to see it as being uncommitted or inconsistent but rather look for reasons to excuse why we can’t do the work to heal ourselves today and postpone it to tomorrow.

And naturally, that tomorrow doesn’t come, even though we keep convincing ourselves that it will.

How to break the cycle of repetitive postponing and start practicing habits that help heal vaginismus

When you look back on your day-to-day life, you will recognize similar behavioral patterns around how you postpone and eventually quit hard or difficult situations dear. Perhaps you might start a task with motivation and belief, but along the way, somehow, for some reason, you lose both of them.

Then you might miss a commitment, and compound the difficulty of the whole process, dear.

Commitment is a pretty essential part of our healing journey, and most definitely, it is an attitude that we can improve!

I want to share four steps to improve your attitude of commitment so that you can make progress in healing vaginismus through consistency.

Let’s begin with understanding the way we behave when it comes to doing things consistently!

Step #1 What helps you repetitively do things that serve you, especially while living with vaginismus?

I invite you to imagine things that you consistently do with love.

Think about

having breakfast every day,
moving your body during a workout, yoga, or dance,
preparing food for yourself or loved ones,
being in the woods, or enjoying activities in nature

Make your own list, dear, and think about what makes you do them with love regularly.

Is it:

the feeling you have during or afterward,
the belief that it is necessary or “must-do”,
or the connection with yourself or others?

Connect with your resources, dear; it’s already within you: What does helps you do them repetitively?

Why do you feel committed to doing them, or in other words: What makes you motivated to do them?

Step #2 Understand what stops or makes you postpone tasks that help you heal vaginismus

Just before you quit what you are doing or stop doing the things you know you are supposed to do, tune in with yourself at that very moment and ask:

What has just happened, what has triggered you?
What emotions do you have right now?
What are the arising thoughts now?

We have many different emotions, and they tell us a lot about ourselves, which is AMAZING!

Sometimes, they can be very heavy on us. But here is the thing: we get to recognize and name them at that moment!

We get to be mindful of them so we don’t get impacted by them enormously and end up feeling discouraged, frustrated, or hopeless while trying to heal vaginismus.

Here are some of our feelings and basic needs:

You can learn more about it from: https://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/learn-nonviolent-communication/feelings/

As you see in the image, the feelings are separated into two categories such as:

Feelings when needs are fulfilled,
Feelings when needs are not fulfilled.

So, our emotions talk about our needs as underlined messages, dear.

We get to tune in with them; we get to be willing to understand them so that we can learn from them and improve ourselves a bit further.

Step #3 Connect with your body and with your ‘why’ whenever you feel like postponing things

Connect with your body:

All emotion manifests in our body in some form, with or without us realizing it.

Our bodies are like a mirror of our feelings, dear; they reflect through different sorts of tension, relaxation, burning, tingling, and tightness.

You can learn more about it from this fantastic book: The Body Keeps Score, written by Bessel van der Kolk.

Take another look at your day-to-day life dear, imagine yourself driving for instance.

Check-in with your body; your core area, your belly, your legs, shoulders, and your breath. You’ll recognize the glimpses of your thoughts and momentary emotions’ reflection on your body.

Perhaps you’ll notice that you hold your breath or tense your core or feel numbness on your head.

You can find these reflections during those moments you want to quit, dear!

After noticing your arising thoughts and emotions, bring your attention to your body; where do you feel in your body most vividly at that moment?

See, if there’s any way to be a bit patient so that you can give enough time to notice what’s happening at that moment, preferably without judging yourself for your thoughts or arising feelings as best you can.

Then focus on giving yourself three deep inhalations and three long exhalations, as best you can, noticing each breath in and out.

Connect with your why

Lastly, connect with your why: why do you want to overcome vaginismus, dear?

Why is it important for you to heal vaginismus? What will happen after you overcome it; how will you feel about it?

Perhaps close your eyes and tune in to your why! Visualize that it happens, and own it, my dear friend.

I dare you to say something nice to your “willingness to postpone”. Maybe tell that side of yourself that you understand her and ask her if postponing will serve your “why”.

Remember what your motivating word would be for her and say it. You can yell it, or whisper it, but just say it.

For me, my why was to feel whole again, and every time I faced the part of me that wanted to postpone the hard work that I had to do to heal my vaginismus, I would repeat my why to myself silently until I became committed to the habit of healing.

You can read more about connecting to your why in this blog post: How to Feel Inspired When We Lose Motivation, Especially While Healing Vaginismus

Step #4 Show yourself that you can commit to doing it until you reach the finish line, especially while living with vaginismus

We get to learn commitment experientially, and the best part is, that we learn it through doing it anyway!

It’s an attitude that we can cultivate through PRACTICE.

So, in order to create that habit and prove to yourself that you can do it, promise yourself to do only one doable activity at a time with a clear and realistic deadline.

For instance, promise yourself that you will:

have breakfast every day for the next five days,
jog at 5 pm every day for the next six days,
Or wake up 15 min earlier than your usual time to do meditation every day for three days.

Then check in with yourself to see whether or not it’s doable for you.

If this is not your thing at all, then reiterate your commitment and choose another one.

And after each day that you accomplish your promise, acknowledge and celebrate it by drinking a glass of water, or tea, or coffee 😊 , or by just thanking yourself, dear!

Then you’ll start seeing gradually how powerful a woman YOU ARE when it comes to committing to doing things consistently!

You know deep down that you can do it! You have already come so far!

You can and will overcome vaginismus because you’ll commit to doing it, dear!

I know it, and I trust you! What about you?

“Commitment is what transforms a Promise into Reality” – Abraham Lincoln

If you found this article helpful, then come and join our free online community Yes We Can Heal Vaginismus Together if you haven’t yet.

I talk more about these topics and in more detail.

Let’s meet there. Let’s grow together.

E-mail: petek@yeswecanhealtogether.com

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