How‌ ‌to‌ ‌Take‌ ‌Better‌ ‌Care‌ ‌of‌ ‌Ourselves‌ ‌While‌ ‌Healing‌ ‌Our‌ ‌Vaginismus‌

I understand that it’s hard to work on our vaginismus healing journey consistently while we are constantly repeating ourselves that we can’t overcome it!

There is a powerful voice chattering in our minds over and over and over again:

“You can’t do it!”

“You won’t have a family.”

“Look at you: You even can’t consummate your marriage!”

“You won’t have a NORMAL relationship!”

“You are NOT NORMAL!”

Can you relate to any of them, dear? Honestly, I can genuinely relate to all of these because that’s what I was repeating to myself over and over again when I was living with vaginismus! Saying these discouraging, demotivating things to myself was not kind, not caring, not compassionate at all.

So I can easily say that I was not taking care of myself at the time, which is so NORMAL, by the way! That’s what most of us used to do.

And those talks were impacting me heavily so that I was ending up depressed moods, which were holding me back on curing my condition.

Let’s talk about how we can take better care of ourselves while not only living with vaginismus but also while healing it.

But before we get to that, are you new here? Then you’ll have to check out these other helpful blogs that I’ve written to help you overcome your condition.

and of course, you should join our EXCLUSIVE Facebook Community “Yes We Can Cure Vaginismus Together” by clicking here!

Oh and, you can download here your FREE Vaginismus Cure Guide based on my personal experience and research!

Let’s go on, dear!

These kinds of discouraging, demotivating talks that I was having with myself were not only putting myself down, they were also becoming my “normal”. I was not even aware of these thoughts happening in my mind constantly, nor the impacts of them.

It’s exactly like in the boiling frog fable. You may have heard about it. It might disturb you thinking about this fable, but it just resonates a lot.

“The premise is, that if a frog is suddenly put into boiling water, it will jump out, but if the frog is put in tepid water which is then brought to a boil slowly, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death.”

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boiling_frog)

Now think about it: you’re meeting a person who is talking to you in the same way you are talking to yourself. How would you react? Most probably, you would say, “who the hell are you talking to me like that?” Right?

So why are we continuing to talk to ourselves in that tone, then? Because we are used to it! And the impact of may not maybe be like in the fable as living to death but as living with unhappiness, depression, deep sadness, disappointment, hopelessness!

And most importantly, as we are repeating them: WE ARE STRENGTHENING THOSE BELIEFS!

I’m not alone on this! Science says:

“Neurons that fire together wire together.”

You can watch this short and very informative video to understand what it means scientifically by simply clicking here.

What we repeat becomes our reality!

This means that the thoughts we repeat to ourselves about not being capable, becomes the reality we experience... So we need to start questioning:

how we can take better care of ourselves,
how we can decenter ourselves,
how we can believe in ourselves more,

And as what we repeat changes naturally, so changes our reality!

To do this, it takes

time
effort
intention

My friend gave a beautiful example of this: To make a walking path visible on the grass, you need to walk on it for a significant time.

This reminds me of the journey I had to take to move forward on healing my vaginismus and talk myself through any difficulty along the way.

We need to cultivate skills to deal with our challenges. And we need to learn how we can be more kind, caring, and compassionate to ourselves so that rather than blaming ourselves for the conditions we have, we can see them as they are!

Therefore, we can take a step out of our “comfort zone” and transform whatever doesn’t serve us into something that can do.

That’s why practicing mindfulness is tremendously essential to cultivate these skill sets, especially when we are living or healing our vaginismus, dear.

I want to give you three steps to cultivate a skill set of caring ourselves.

Step #1: Asking how we take better care of ourselves when we are healing our vaginismus is essential

Asking how we can take better care of ourselves is a very compassionate question!

We need to hear it from ourselves, and not only from others!

So the source is us, dear, not someone else!

And it’s important because WE MATTER! That is why it is our source!

That’s the critical point that we miss most of the time in our lives: WE MATTER!

To genuinely understand this and implement it in our lives, we need to PRACTICE IT!

We need to practice caring about ourselves to understand that we are worthy of being cared for, dear.

Step #2 Checking-in with ourselves on how we feel at the moment

To answer the question above, we need to slow down for a couple of mins at least. Maybe breathing in here mindfully and breathing out three times might help you do this!

Then check-in with yourself on how we feel in the moment, not on how we disappoint others or think we are not giving enough to others.

Whatever our mood is at that moment, is not happening in a second, right? It’s changing or shifting gradually. So it’s important to see and to name how we feel in the moment without blaming ourselves for it at all!

I feel

jealous,
aversion,
anger

right now. Whatever it is, just name it!

Step #3 Asking ourselves what activities might feel us nourished

What are those activities for you? What nourishes you?

As you see, the questions are all around YOU!

We intentionally repeat the behavior of caring about what we need!

We need to learn it first, and then we need to implement it.

For that, we need to REPEAT it, dear, for a significant time to get it as a habit.

So let’s begin to practice it from today!

Wouldn’t it be amazing to be kind and compassionate to ourselves, dear?

I know it seems easy to say, but it is easier to implement when we are together.

Come and join our Facebook community: “Yes We Can Cure Vaginismus Together”

”As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.” Henry David Thoreau

You can download my free vaginismus cure guide from here if you haven’t yet.

If you found this article helpful, then come and join our free online community Yes We Can Cure Vaginismus Together, if you haven’t yet.

I talk more about these topics and in more detail.

Let’s meet there. Let’s grow together.

E-mail: petek@yeswecancure.com