Why Do We Feel Like We Can't Move Forward with Healing Vaginismus?

Do you ever feel like you can’t move forward with your healing vaginismus process?

If you do, then this blog post is for you, dear. We’ll tackle today why we feel this way and what to do to change it into something that makes us reach the progress we deserve.

But before we get there, are you new here? Then you’ll have to check out these other helpful blogs that I’ve written to help you overcome your condition.

and of course, you should join our EXCLUSIVE Facebook Community “Yes We Can Heal Vaginismus Together” by clicking here!

Oh and, you can download here your FREE Vaginismus Overcoming Guide based on my personal experience and research!

I invite you to consider this:

Do you blame others often?
Do you complain often?

Your answer is precious because both questions show us something we have in common that weakens our own trust in ourselves, which is CASTING OUR OWN RESPONSIBILITIES OUTSIDE OF OURSELVES!

When we give responsibility away, which doesn’t have to be necessarily around vaginismus, it can be about anything: think politics, environmental issues, the struggles you face in your workplace. What happens is that you automatically, without even realizing sometimes, put on a “ victim hat” and instead of choosing to do anything about the issues we might have, tend to feel sad instead, or frustrated and even hopeless as one with a victimized mindset does.

The incidents that you have been through are the facts, no doubt about that, but how you deal with them entirely depends on your mindset, dear.

And how you deal with any difficulty in your daily life resembles how you deal with your vaginismus healing process.

I want to show you clearly two different ways of dealing with the same difficulty.

How do two different approaches change the results of healing vaginismus?

I’ll get deeper with an example:

Let’s think about your daily struggle and use two ways you can deal with it, then connect this with the similarities you find in dealing with any struggle during your vaginismus healing process.

Let’s say that you struggle with your finance.

What you earn doesn’t meet what you need.

You can choose two different responses to this:

The first one:

You complain about what you earn. You blame your boss, yourself, your colleagues, or even your parents who don’t want to or can’t support you financially.

And guess what, you don’t do ANYTHING to change it; instead, you stay wherever you are and continue to feel the way you do.

The second one:

You ask four questions:

#Question 1: WHAT AM I STRUGGLING WITH RIGHT NOW?

Your answers might be:

I’m struggling with my finances.
I’m struggling with spending 4 hours every day going to the office.
I’m struggling in the workplace; I don’t feel I belong.

#Question 2: WHAT DO I NEED?

I need $500 additional income per month.
I need to work online so that I don’t waste time traveling to the workplace,
I need to be surrounded by people to whom I feel I belong.

#Question 3: WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?

Can I:

Create a side hustle and see what works and what doesn’t?
Change my working hours or even salary and use my other skills to create more valuable tasks and earn more?
Set up a gig on platforms like Fiverr to see my potential while trying new things?
Even create an online workshop and learn how to be an entrepreneur?

Then ask:

#Question 4: HOW CAN I DO THAT AND WHEN WILL I DO THIS?

Can you see the difference between the two ways of dealing with the same difficulty?

The first one is the outcome of a victimized mindset, very short-cut, even a bit comfortable, and the second is the decision-maker mindset which might be way out of your comfort zone!

The victimized mindset is the easiest one to choose in the short term but can have many harmful impacts on us in the long term.

The decision-maker mindset can come as we train ourselves, and it’s a very empowering mindset in the long run. It improves us tremendously.

So let’s connect this example to your vaginismus process.

What are the impacts of two different mindsets’ that change our experience of healing vaginismus?

Let’s imagine that you feel like you can’t move forward with your vaginismus healing progress.

Again, you get to choose two different responses to it:

The first response:

You blame or complain about vaginismus, your vagina, your life, or perhaps your partner, and guess what: you have given the responsibility away, and eventually, you give up healing it, postpone what you are supposed to do, or ignore the condition entirely like I did for over ten years!

The result is that you continue to feel the way you do and become even more intensely dissatisfied and victimized.

The second approach asks these questions:

#Question 1: WHAT AM I STRUGGLING WITH RIGHT NOW?

Holding a safe space for your difficulties, naming and recognizing them is the first key here.

Perhaps you can say, I struggle with:

feeling alone in this journey,
being consistent and feeling demotivated,
reconnecting with my body and not separating my vagina from it,
believing in myself, believing that I will overcome it.

#Question 2: WHAT DO I NEED?

Support
I need one-on-one track, accountability,
I need to learn more about my anatomy so that I can feel a bit comfortable with my vagina,
I need guidance that I can follow step by step and feel confident with the process.

#Question 3: WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?

I can find groups that make me feel less alone,
I can get support on evolving my mindset and my daily habits so that I can do what I am supposed to be doing consistently,
I can find a physiotherapist to work with one-on-one or find group programs that I can be a part of.

#Question 4: HOW CAN I DO THAT AND WHEN WILL I DO THAT?

You may say:

I’ll start searching and taking action NOW!

There is no better tomorrow if we don’t start from our struggles TODAY, dear.

How we do anything is how we do everything!

Make your own list, and wear the hat you deserved on your head and be the owner of your LIFE, dear.

There is no one, but YOU who is RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR DECISIONS NOW!

Own your struggles as they are and take your decisions to move them forward TODAY, not TOMORROW!

There is no barrier to overcome vaginismus but us!

You CAN and WILL HEAL YOUR VAGINISMUS.

We CAN DO IT TOGETHER!

If you need support, you can sign up for my free Journey to Healing Series.

It is a four weeks series to prepare you to get consistent with your vaginismus healing process where you’ll also get a lot of practice and guidance that you can implement plus valuable knowledge over four weeks and it’s totally free.

Check it out from HERE!

“I am not what happened to me – I AM what I CHOOSE to become” – Carl Jung

If you found this article helpful, then come and join our free online community Yes We Can Heal Vaginismus Together if you haven’t yet.

I talk more about these topics and in more detail.

Let’s meet there. Let’s grow together.

E-mail: petek@yeswecanhealtogether.com

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