How to Train and Rewire Our Minds For Happiness While Overcoming Our Vaginismus

We all seek happiness in life, don’t we? Not only while living with or overcoming our vaginismus, but after the vaginismus journey as well.

We all want to be happy, fulfilled, feel complete and peaceful but how come what we experience is always very different from what we seek most of the time?

How come what we want to be is not what we end up with?

Here is why; because it’s not in what we practice, dear. We often look for our happiness in the wrong places; as Joseph Goldstein says,

“ We may call it different names—peace, or awakening, or enlightenment, even love—but what most of us are looking for is happiness: deep, abiding fulfillment and completion. The problem is that we’re looking for it in the wrong place. We’re looking in the places where society or our conditioning tells us to look—in the fulfillment of our desires.“.

Here, in this blog post, we’ll uncover how to train and rewire our minds for a much happier and more fulfilling life, especially while living with or overcoming our vaginismus, dear.

But before we get there, are you new here? Then you’ll have to check out these other helpful blogs that I’ve written to help you overcome your condition.

Why Challenging Ourselves Matters Especially While Overcoming Our Vaginismus
How to Free Ourselves From Unhealthy Habits While Overcoming Our Vaginismus
How to Dilate On Our Own While We Can Not Even Look Down There

and of course, you should join our EXCLUSIVE Facebook Community “Yes We Can Cure Vaginismus Together” by clicking here!

Oh and, you can download here your FREE Vaginismus Cure Guide based on my personal experience and research!

Let’s begin.

I want to give an example of a recent experience that just happened to me today.

I had a small (!?! 😊 ) discussion* with my partner yesterday. I don’t even remember the reason for it, but I do remember the feeling around it.

And I woke up still feeling a bit annoyed in the morning, so I decided to go out running.

It’s rare here in Istanbul, but it was snowing beautifully. I was totally in the moment, enjoying the snow as I was opening my mouth to catch the snow in my mouth while running 😊. I don’t recommend doing that, by the way, it can be a bit dangerous! 😊

A few seconds later, my mind wandered away, and some familiar thoughts arose, which visit me whenever I feel annoyed. Those thoughts were less about the discussion I had had with my partner and more about the feelings that arose from it.

Despite being in such a beautiful moment, I was engaging in negative self-thoughts and planning what I would tell my partner when I got back home. I got angrier and more annoyed. My mind was no longer with my body or the beauty of snow, and it had forgotten the amazingly soft wind caressing my face.

But then I recognized my emotional shift. And I reminded myself that those thoughts were not the thoughts of that moment; rather, they were only my thinking habits!

It was as though I could see how these habits were something like an offer presented to me by my mind. It wanted to tempt me with them to see if I would be interested in focusing on them instead of the wonder of the moment we were in. I could almost hear a little voice in my mind saying, “would you like to think about these thoughts as well? They would go perfectly with the moment you are in right now?”.

So, I opened my mouth again to feel the snow on my tongue, just like how all the cool kids do 😊.

–>I intentionally focused on my physical sensations while running and then realized a stray dog was accompanying me and realized how lovely it was.

–>I heard a beautiful wind which I hadn’t paid attention to before.

–>I smelled the air; I felt my breath!

–>I used my senses as best I could.

–>Lastly, I asked myself to recall three delightful moments that I wanted to remember from my jog. Obviously, I chose the dog, the snow in my mouth, and being able to run.

I felt fortunate and grateful at that moment, and I was definitely more balanced, deeply peaceful, and connected within myself.

This tiny moment of a wandering mind and the emotional shift that it created was an opportunity for me to train my mind, my lovely friend.

So let’s dive more into what I mean by this so that you too can learn how to do it with your own life.

#1 Recognizing our thinking habits is essential for genuine happiness rather than ignoring them

We tend to get lost in our thoughts and the emotions accompanying those thoughts or vice versa. Most of the time, either we end up judging ourselves for them or ignoring them. Either way, they impact us heavily, and here’s the thing: they control us as well.

The only way to not allow them to control us is to recognize them: not just to see them, but also to observe if they are our habitualised thinking patterns, as well.

As long as we can differentiate that those thoughts are not the thoughts of the moment, then we can sit in the driver’s seat of our decisions, my lovely friend, and from there take ownership of our choices on what we’ll focus on next.

#2 Intentionally bringing the focus on our senses is the key to coming back to the moment

As with the example that I shared, it’s easy and tremendously quick to get lost in our thoughts and emotions.

However, it can also be quick to bring the focus back to the senses as a new way of responding to our old habits. Whenever we choose to come back to the moment by using our senses as tools, it is the moment that we rewire our minds, my lovely friend.

Here is why; whatever we repeat can become our habit, either being driven by our thoughts and feelings or recognizing them, then choosing to come back to the moment. Whichever we choose will strengthen our habit.

Don’t worry if you notice that your mind wanders away often.

An important point needs to be highlighted here; the more we get lost in our thoughts and feelings, the more opportunity we have to come back to the moment so that they can become less impactful on us.

Yes, you heard me correctly: those difficult moments can become our teachers, my lovely friend! So rather than hate them, let’s choose to embrace them! Each of these moments can train our minds to think healthily.

We also train our minds as we focus on the pleasant moments of the experience as much as we focus on the unpleasant ones.

#3 Highlighting the fulfilling moments of an experience helps us train our minds’ focus

When we focus on the joyful, satisfying, or fulfilling moments of an experience, we automatically bring focus from the mind to the heart.

We feel it; we connect with it.

When we do this, we connect our inner intentions to look for what there is to celebrate.

And that intention reminds us to be grateful as well.

Just breathing, moving, or running are but a few things worthy of celebrating EVERY SINGLE DAY, dear.

Each moment you choose to take these steps, you strengthen your new skills to see things differently, especially when encountering challenging moments.

As soon as we own these skills, vaginismus will become a journey, not of disappointment and hopelessness, but rather, one of learning and growing.

So, which one will you choose, my dear?

“Developing inner values is much like physical exercise. The more we train our abilities, the stronger they become. The difference is that, unlike the body, when it comes to training the mind, there is no limit to how far we can go.” Dalai Lama

You can download my free vaginismus overcoming guide from here if you haven’t yet.

If you found this article helpful, then come and join our free online community Yes We Can Cure Vaginismus Together, if you haven’t yet.

I talk more about these topics and in more detail.

Let’s meet there. Let’s grow together.

E-mail: petek@yeswecancure.com