How to See My Crazy Thoughts Differently While Living with Vaginismus

Hey dear, let’s be honest; living with vaginismus is not easy! And often, getting lost with our thoughts, especially when we are in a low mood can be very unhelpful to us, right?

At first, it seems as though they are compelling thoughts and can even make us feel crazy without realizing it, what a paradox! 😊

That’s what we are going to uncover today: the relationship between low moods and our thoughts and how to see them differently while living with vaginismus.

But before we get to that, are you new here? Then you’ll have to check out these other helpful blogs that I’ve written to help you overcome your condition.

And of course, you should join our EXCLUSIVE Facebook Community “Yes We Can Cure Vaginismus Together” by clicking here!

Oh and, you can download here your FREE Vaginismus Cure Guide based on my personal experience and research!

So, shall we begin, dear?

When I was living with vaginismus, I kept a diary.

After a pretty long time, finally, I had a man in my life that I had fallen in love with but couldn’t have sex properly(!)- I was constantly going through mood swings and overthinking. It was very tiring.

And I struggled to cope with my mood swings.

Which is why I quickly broke up with this man I thought I had fallen in love with. But, this is not the point, so let’s get back on track 🙂

A while after curing my vaginismus, I found my old diary.

It was a very profound experience, by the way; getting in touch with your past; your old habits and feelings relieving them while you read can give you goosebumps.

And you know what made me smile while reading? It was the moment I realized that I had very different emotional experiences for the same situations according to my mood.

Here’s one example: I had two cats at the time and was living in a cozy, warm, and tiny little apartment.

The house was so small; with a few steps, you seemed to be able to complete walking around the house. Plus, I had two crazy cats living with me!

I know 😊

On one page, I wrote in the diary: “Oh, wow, such a fantastic thing to live here, in this beautiful house, with these most beautiful cats. I’ve cooked and had my dinner. I love being alone.”

And just one day later, here we go: “I’m sick of living here, everywhere is full of f*cking cat hair! I feel like a visitor in their house!! Look at that: I’m having dinner alone in this shitty small house. I’m alone, AGAIN!!!”

The same cats, the same house, the same dinner 😊 (my favorite dish was spaghetti at the time. Mainly because it is the easiest thing to cook 😊 )

But look at how I was reacting differently to the same conditions.

Have you experienced anything like that before?

Why do you think that our responses are changing, even if the circumstances are the same?

The answer to that is our moods: how we feel and how we see things.

Our moods impact our thoughts to form our perspectives and vice versa. It’s a cycle, dear.

Have you ever experienced that sometimes? When you take something personally when you didn’t care about the same things that much before?

The relationship between thoughts and moods is so powerful. It has the power to pull us down and down!

Then We start to see things more negatively so that one small trigger becomes enough to drag us into the thinking pattern of how we are:

not enough,
disappointing everyone,
not complete,
not even a woman!

We might even end up questioning our existence. Look at that: how far our potential is willing to go in the wrong direction!

Do we get to this point quickly?

No! It might feel like things become heavy on us quickly, but in reality, my dear, it happens gradually!

It’s the matter of becoming aware of what is “happening” within the present moment!

So, how do I transform the impacts of these unhealthy thought patterns while living with vaginismus?

It is a beautiful question, lovely!

So I want to break this down a little bit and share with you some steps.

#Step1: Seeing them as just thoughts that are not representing your identity in any way at all!

(I wrote about some similar steps like these for dealing with pain, check it out here: How to Transform Our Relationship to Pain When Living With Vaginismus )

Seeing our thoughts as just thoughts rather than reality or fact is an incredibly important attitude.

The more we strengthen this perception, the easier we’ll be able to create some distance from those thoughts rather than getting lost in them.

#Step 2: Identifying which emotions accompany these thoughts within the moment

Getting curious about ourselves with an attitude of discovering something new within us, eventually, whatever we experience within the moment will pass away, but those experiences will teach us lots of things about our habits at the same time, regardless of whether they are pleasant or unpleasant.

While looking at what’s happening at the moment closely, we become a third-person observer.

This helps things move a bit slower rather than feeling rushed and overwhelmed by the stories we have created around our triggers…

#Step 3: Allowing arising thoughts and emotions to be as they are

Seeing them as a part of our life: that they are coming and leaving, like visitors. Those thoughts and emotions are not always with us. Just recognizing them and allowing them to remain for a while will lessen their strength, dear.

#Step 4: Writing down your experience as honestly as you can at the moment without focusing on what you think you should be feeling instead

I know, to be honest with ourselves might be difficult, or even irritating from time to time. Seeing how we are

harsh on ourselves,
putting ourselves down,
hateful or jealous

It’s not easy; I can relate to that. But as we write these experiences down, when reading them after a while, we will be able to see the repeating patterns which cause our habitualized behavior.

By writing down what happened exactly without any commentary and ignoring what our thoughts were and how we felt about them can help us get to know our automatic responses towards similar situations in the future, dear.

Implementing these steps will help us transform those habits; while they are simple, they are not easy.

That’s why practicing mindfulness is essential in our vaginismus healing journey, because we connect with ourselves on a deeper level, which allows us to overcome the mental and physical challenges of healing.

When we look at how we treat ourselves and others, the things holding us back from moving forward in our healing journey are easier to face and overcome, my dear.

I know it seems easy to say, but it is easier to implement when we are together.

Come and join our Facebook community: “Yes We Can Cure Vaginismus Together”

“The emphasis in meditation is very much on undistracted awareness: not thinking about things, not analyzing, not getting lost in the story, but just seeing the nature of what is happening in the mind. Careful, accurate observation of the moment’s reality is the key to the whole process.” Joseph Goldstein

You can download my free vaginismus cure guide from here if you haven’t yet.

If you found this article helpful, then come and join our free online community Yes We Can Cure Vaginismus Together, if you haven’t yet.

I talk more about these topics and in more detail.

Let’s meet there. Let’s grow together.

E-mail: petek@yeswecancure.com