That’s a great question!😊
I had been struggling with vaginismus for more than 10 years and then I cured it, this is my story. So I know how difficult it is to take action to cure vaginismus. This is why I am sharing my experience with you so that you don’t waste your years ignoring the contentment you deserve.
Mindfulness meditation can teach us a new way to respond to the difficulties of life.
Recently, I attended a 5-day silent vipassana-meditation retreat. It’s organized and guided by Jeremy with an amazing yoga instructor, you can find information about him from here. I highly recommend you to follow him, he is everywhere on social media 🙂
The retreat focused on three simple practices:
- mindful sitting,
- mindful walking
- mindful eating
We were not allowed to communicate with the outside world. We were not allowed to read or listen to music or even write. Our only task was to remain completely silent and be mindful throughout the day.
This way, we could focus on the workings of our inner world.
Why should we attend vipassana-meditation retreats?
The short answer? We should attend retreats like the one I mentioned above to get to know ourselves better.
Vipassana-Meditation retreats help us understand:
- how our mind can create a whole reality without us knowing,
- how we have potential to curate our reality,
- how we adapt our mood according to our thoughts and beliefs
In exploring these aspects of ourselves, we can learn the thought patterns that drive our behavior. Then we can change them to suit us in a more proactive and positive light.
Through observing our emotions and thoughts, we can change our relationship with them, instead of driven by them.
For many of us, our minds are haunted by insecurity, self-doubt, and shame.
For example, let’s say we’ve been meditating for a while, and we experience pain in our bodies. We tend to start sinking into a pit of self-criticism.
A simple physical pain begins to evolve into self-talks of
- “I am so bad at meditating!”
- “I’ll never be good enough”
- “Why can’t I be as mindful as the others around me?!”
- “I am so pathetic!
Can you relate to that?
So what do our unwholesome thoughts have to do with healing vaginismus?
Another good question! 😊
Think about the last time you compared yourself to a pregnant woman in the local supermarket. Think about the loops of self-disgust you put yourself through when you saw her. Try to remember how that felt.
And trust me, I have been there! In those loops, hating myself for “not being enough” to overcome the pain. For the most part, I didn’t even hear how toxic these thoughts were to my mindset, which was dragging me down most of the time. In fact, I thought I deserved to punish myself for having a broken body.
The problem is, when you frame your reality in such a negative light, you have no choice but to bask in it and it becomes your own suffering!
And we need to look at our relations to that negative reality created by us in order to understand our suffering at a deeper level. So that path will lead us to cure vaginismus.
What do wise people say about overcoming suffering?
There is a beautiful quote that has helped me through my struggle from a genuine Vietnamese Monk called Thich Nhat Hanh :
“Meditation is not meant to help us run away from difficulties. It’s meant to allow positive healing to take place. To Meditate is to learn how to stop being carried away by our regrets about the past or our anger or despair in the present or our worries about the future.”
What do we learn from practicing mindfulness meditation?
Mindfulness meditation teaches us that instead of ignoring our difficulties, cultivating a skill to stay with them with more clear sight. This way, we can take pure action with more wholesome intention to overcome whatever our difficulties are at the moment.
Negative bias can be very overwhelming, and draining and distracting! By practicing mindful meditation, you can redirect your attention towards the fact itself, instead of getting lost in associated thoughts or emotions. This will drive the healing process necessary to cure vaginismus.
Many of us live with vaginismus for decades because of that negative bias that leads us to suffer.
What is the relation between Buddhism and suffering?
According to Buddhism, there are four noble truths in life:
- 1st one is: The truth of suffering.
- 2nd one is: The end of suffering.
- 3rd one is: There is a cure for suffering.
- 4th one is: The path to the overcoming suffering
The 4 pillars of Buddhism are all about “suffering”!
Suffering refers to feeling discontentment and dissatisfaction with life.
It occurs when things don’t go how we expected. We start to place blame, wasting energy on creating loops of self-loathing, rather than step away from habitual thinking.
Let’s get back to healing vaginismus!
When we think about vaginismus, we become our suffering. Instead of looking to cure this condition, we tend to spend more time blaming ourselves for not being a better version of ourselves. By removing ourselves from the thought process, we can work towards actively changing the way vaginismus affects our mind, body, and soul.
How will our vaginismus condition change when we practice mindfulness meditation?
When we practice mindfulness meditation, we change our association and history of pain, fear, and anxiety with our body into a lighter more objective experience.
The burden of the emotional trauma we have developed with our vaginismus condition will be lessened, and you will be able to focus on how to relax and soften your body towards the cure.
Each of us is unique, and each of us has the power to understand ourselves in a deeper way than anyone else!
That’s why we need to practice meditation individually, rather than getting to know intellectually more about meditation.
Besides mindfulness meditation practices, doing pelvic exercises, and if possible getting support from an expert/specialist that you trust can progress your cure journey more sustainably.
Due to mindfulness meditation is changing the way of our perception of things, it is one of the important pillars of vaginismus treatment, I’d say.
I want to share with you one of the mindful exercises that I personally do in my daily day life:
- Do one of your daily routines for 2 minutes.- It can be brushing your teeth or eating your meal. Then you’ll see that being aware of the present moment will be easier.
If you have decided to brush your teeth mindfully, be sure to focus on;
- The movement of your arm,
- The taste of the paste
- The way your mouth moves
- How it feels to be in the moment.
Now focus on these different elements as best you can. You’ll experience your mind wandering away. That is totally normal!
Instead of dismissing those thoughts look at them and see what they are.
- Then without judging yourself; come back to the brushing teeth experience itself.
The rule is simple: wherever your mind goes to, see where it went to and as best you can without judging yourself. Then come back to the present moment.
You will notice that once you have begun practicing this mindfulness, your relationship with your thoughts will be more wholesome.
A beautiful quote from a genuine Vietnamese practitioner Thich Nhat Hanh:
“Someone asked me, “Aren’t you worried about the state of the world?” I allowed myself to breathe and then I said, “What is most important is not to allow your anxiety about what happens in the world to fill your heart. If your heart is filled with anxiety, you will get sick, and you will not be able to help.” There are wars — big and small — in many places, and that can cause us to lose our peace. Anxiety is the illness of our age. We worry about ourselves, our family, our friends, our work, and the state of the world. If we allow worry to fill our hearts, sooner or later we will get sick.”
What is it that fills your heart?
It’s time to see things more clearly.
It’s time for action to cure vaginismus! See the ways that I recommend to heal it here.
And a question for you: If it’s not now, then when?
E-mail: petek@yeswecanhealtogether.com
PS. Be sure to join my free cure vaginismus online community! Join here.
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